I have worked with couples who have been married as long as 9 years without consummating their marriages. This may be because of Vaginismus – a condition that prevents penetration. Husbands will say that It feels like “I just hit a wall – and its locked down completely.” Both partners are usually baffled by the problem, and often too embarrassed and ashamed to seek help. Sometimes they don’t know where to begin to find professional help to overcome this frustrating and debilitating problem. Some couples wait to come in until they are ready to start a family.
With sex therapy, I help couples overcome this problem. Fears about penetration can often be part of the problem. One patient said: “its like having a panic attack in my vagina”. Understanding why you have these fears is key to overcoming the problem. There are specific techniques that you can do at home to work with your body. There is hope. It is a great joy to hear back from former patients who send me a photo of their new baby.
I was asked recently to provide a sex education class for a woman and her bridesmaids. The sister-in-law to be wanted to set this up, as well as an hour of individual intimacy preparation for the bride. It was her gift to the bride. I thought she sounded like a fabulous sister-in-law!
I thought this was a great idea, so I am offering this as a regular program through my office. The “party” can be at my office, or I can travel to you, or it can be done via phone, Skype or FaceTime. While this particular bride was a virgin, I can structure the information to fit any level of sexual experience. I can also work with the bride and groom before the wedding if desired.
This is a fun way to increase your knowledge base about sexuality. Even for the very shy person, I can structure the class so that they may ask questions without saying a word, if they prefer.
Is sex painful for you? Have you found yourself avoiding sex because you worry that it will hurt? Have you had any sexual intercourse that was not painful? Do you try to soldier through it, hoping that it will be over quickly?
Sex is not supposed to hurt. Period. If it is hurting, see your physician. These are some causes of painful sex:
- low estrogen from nursing or menopause
- lack of arousal
- taking too little time for warm-up and foreplay
- past sexual abuse
- lack of information or shame about the genitals
- fear of being injured internally from penetration
- past pelvic surgeries or procedures
The good news is that sex therapy can help you get past the pain.
It can move you from fear and dread of sex, to calm anticipation and enjoyment. It can transform the problem into intimacy and closeness with your partner.
If you’d like to take advantage of my 25 minute free phone consultation in order to determine if sex therapy is for you, give me a call.
If you have thought many times about making an appointment to see me for sex therapy, but just haven’t; I may have the solution for you. I know how hard it is to make that first call, email or actual appointment. My clients tell me they feel embarrassed, ashamed – like they shouldn’t be having any sexual problems. Women tell me that they feel “broken.”
The sad truth is that these feelings can and do keep people stuck in these miserable feelings. I can help you get to the other side of your dilemma. I work with women, and couples every day, gently moving them through the brokenness to healing. To a full and rewarding intimacy with their partners.
So if embarrassment is keeping you stuck, we can do phone sessions. With phone sessions, you can call me from the privacy of your own home, car or office. You don’t even have to be seen. It is the ultimate in privacy. If this option sounds like the solution for you – call or email me today. I’ll get you started towards a more intimate relationship.